fuck.fuck all this damn expectations.im sick of living up to bloody expectations.its been this way since i was a kid.church ppl think im einstein.teachers think im einstein.everybody thinks im einstein.you fuckers don't know a thing.if you had to live your life trying to keep up with bloody expectations just so u dun haf to hear the "Why?What happened?"s that will come you way when you dont meet up to what ppl think you are..you'd think twice abt setting ridiculous expectations for others.a1 for chinese.6 points for o levels.yes.i call it ridiculous expectations.but why do i still try so hard to live up to it?cos sadly at a tender age of 6 when i stepped into primary school..i've been told to reach up to the expectations of others.not to disappoint.not to let ppl belittle you for not reaching their expectation.this little mind has been confined to a box before it cld grow,like those little kittens who are put into bottles the moment they are born and they grow to form the shape of the bottle.yes.that's what this little mind is like.and now this little mind has mustered up enough strength to break out of the bottle.but the memories of being confined to the box is etched in it like a wound that leaves a permenant scar.so much as this little brain has broken out of its box,what it has been taught in the box retains in it,following it everywhere,like a shadow that doesnt even disappear when the sun is high in the sky at midday.this little mind is unable to leave what it has been taught behind,knowing very well that it wld suffer withdrawal symptoms if it were to do so.like a tribesman who,tho being tortured in his tribe,knows he will suffer more if he left his habitat,this little mind clings to its early teachings of living up to expectations.sadly, this little mind belongs to me.

i've got to go.i have expectations sitting there waiting for me to meet them.i cant keep them waiting too long.punctuality is a virtue.

scribbled
9:57 PM